Have you ever been told that your too much?
Too loud, too open, too attached, too you.
I find that most of my 'identity' has been tied up in my mental illnesses and now I'm trying to rediscover what makes me me. And what I know is that for a lot of people I'm too much.
I feel things intensely. My highs are atmospheric, my lows are rock bottom. And when I'm there nothing else exists.
But this also means I love intensely. I don't love easily but i love hard. And if I love you you know. I'm there, I'm telling you, I'm in your face.
I'm opinionated. 90% I'm happy to go w the flow but if you catch me on a passion you wont hear the end of it.
I'm loud. This might come as a surprise to most people as I come across quite shy and quiet, but if I'm comfortable with you I'm loud. My laugh is loud, my voice is loud, I want to be heard.
I'm honest. And I have a hard time recognising what's appropriate with different audiences so I often overshare, or offend people accidentally (or on purpose, you know).
If you want an honest opinion on something, I'm ya gal. I lack tact. But I'm learning! A large part of the last 10 years has been learning to communicate. Learning boundaries and social cues.
Even these blogs. It was mentioned that maybe they're too much. Too real. Too honest. What do I want to look like as a businesswoman trying to sell my art.
But isn't art an extension of a person? And people buy from people not robots. So here I am, airing my dirty laundry for everyone to see.
Embracing the parts of me that are too much.